Discover the best places near London you’ll wish you’d never heard of. From yawningly historic sites to nature spots that are natural letdowns, we’ve got the ultimate guide to boredom. Warning: May contain high levels of British sarcasm.
Well, well, well, look who’s here. You’re keen to unearth a list of places near London so striking they’ll make you weep? The kind of spots so lovely, they’re genuinely unbearable? Perfect, you’ve stumbled onto the right blog.
Allow us, Darek and Gosia, to guide you through this perilous journey. ‘Perilous’ because these beauties are downright infuriating with their charm.
So, shall we plunge into this abyss of allure? Don’t blame us later!
Why there are so many beautiful places to visit near me?
Oh, it’s terribly unfair, isn’t it? Living in London means you’re practically drowning in so-called “beautiful” places to visit. But let’s keep a stiff upper lip and soldier on, shall we?
You’ve got a smorgasbord of historic towns, natural landscapes, and coastal beauties just begging to be toured – each vying to be the most underwhelmingly stunning.
So why so many? Well, blame it on Britain’s penchant for preserving history, culture, and nature like they’re all going out of style. Truly, it’s a curse to have so many options. Darek suggests wearing sunglasses to fend off all the dazzling splendour.
Beautiful places to visit near London
1. Lower Slaughter
Where to go near me? Lower Slaughter, where even the name can’t decide if it’s menacing or oddly inviting. Nestled in the Cotswolds, it’s a paradise you’ll love to hate. The river Eye trickles through like a tortoise who’s forgotten its way, while the stone cottages appear as though they’ve been curated by a perfectionist with a twee obsession. The old mill is a particular eyesore, with its still-functioning waterwheel. Really, who needs a functioning historical piece when you could have modern machinery?
- Old Mill: So useful it’s disgusting.
- River Eye: More like “I wish I never saw it.”
2. Lavenham
Beautiful places to visit near me? Good heavens, Lavenham is like that friend who never grew out of their medieval phase. This Suffolk village bombards you with so much history, you might just forget you’re living in the 21st century. Tudor houses lean over the streets as if gossiping about the residents. And to add insult to injury, it’s a mere hour and a bit from London.
| Overzealous Period Drama | Real Life, Unfortunately |
|---|---|
| Tudor Houses | 15th-century overload |
| Guildhall | A living history lesson |
3. Chipping Campden
Scenic places near London? Chipping Campden, another Cotswolds nuisance, has such a painfully idyllic high street, you’ll wish for a nondescript strip mall. The ancient market hall and St. James’ church provide far too many photo opportunities.
- Market Hall: Practically begging for attention.
- St. James’ Church: Gothic to the point of parody.
4. Finchingfield
Places of interest near me? You’ll adore Finchingfield if you have a penchant for cliches. A village green so green it’s obnoxious, and a duck pond so serene you’ll question its motives. Plus, let’s not forget the humpback bridge, a twee architectural anomaly that’s perhaps too perfect for its own good. Beware: it’s all a trap!
| Pond | Highly Suspicious |
|---|---|
| Ducks | Feathery Conspirators |
5. Castle Combe
Tourist places near me? Don’t be fooled by Castle Combe’s cinematic charm; this Wiltshire village is just showing off. You’ll probably recognise it from a film or two, and that’s because Hollywood can’t resist its ludicrous beauty either. You’d think a place that pretty would at least have the decency to be hard to get to, but no, it’s just a car ride away from London.
- Movie Appearances: Far too many.
Now, having traipsed around these alarmingly beautiful places with us, don’t say Gosia and Darek didn’t warn you. Our verdict? Steer clear. Your Instagram can’t handle this level of insufferable charm.
6. Isle of Portland
Most beautiful places near London? Brace yourself for the Isle of Portland, an overachiever off the coast of Dorset. Between its ostentatiously rugged cliffs and the lighthouses that are clearly overcompensating for something, it’s an island that tries too hard.
| Ruggedness Overload | The Perpetrator |
|---|---|
| Cliffs | Guilty as charged |
| Lighthouses | Blindingly annoying |
7. Aldbury
Best places to visit near me? Here’s Aldbury, a Hertfordshire village near Tring that has the audacity to include a mirror-like pond, an excessively nostalgic village green, and a pub that might as well have been plucked from a Dickens novel. You’d almost expect to see horse-drawn carriages instead of cars. It’s that stuck in the past.
- Pond: Reflecting too much beauty for comfort.
- Pub: The Greyhound, setting unrealistic pub standards since who knows when.
8. Chipping Norton
Cute places near me? If you ever find yourself near Oxford and feel like being annoyed, Chipping Norton is your go-to destination. Besides its painfully slow-paced lifestyle, there’s also a theatre that’s far too ambitious for a small town.
| Urban Wannabe | Pretentious Element |
|---|---|
| Theatre | A little too West End |
9. Shere
Places to visit near me within 50 miles? Remember “The Holiday” with Cameron Diaz and Jude Law? Well, you can blame Shere for that. This Surrey village is so absurdly beautiful, it makes even romantic comedies seem plausible. Tudor-style buildings and stone bridges are this village’s greatest sins. If you must go, bring a strong stomach for cuteness. Gosia couldn’t handle it. We had to leave.
- Movie Set Worthy: Annoyingly so.
10. Shaftesbury
Beautiful places to visit near London? Shaftesbury in Dorset – famous for Gold Hill, which appeared in that Ridley Scott-directed Hovis ad. Yes, the one with the boy pushing a bike uphill to a choral rendition of Dvorak. Believe us, in real life, it’s even more nauseatingly photogenic.
| Advertising Star | Reality |
|---|---|
| Gold Hill | So charming, it’s an eyesore |
Well, if you weren’t put off before, you probably are now. It’s just a little more than an hour from London, and it’s far too quaint for its own good. Proceed with caution, especially if you’re allergic to charm. Darek broke out in hives.
11. St Albans
Nice places to go near me? St Albans, named after Britain’s first saint and, unfortunately, the place does try to live up to that holy reputation. Roman ruins, a cathedral that could double as a heavenly gateway, and pubs that claim to be the oldest in England. It’s like walking through a history book that won’t end.
- Cathedral: Almost divine. Almost.
- Roman Ruins: St. Albans or Rome? Easy to confuse the two.
12. Seven Sisters
Picturesque places near London? Alright, get ready to not be swept off your feet by the Seven Sisters chalk cliffs in Sussex. There’s so much natural beauty it actually becomes a form of visual harassment. It’s the sort of place that prompts unnecessary life reflections and profound Instagram captions. And to add insult to injury, it’s just a stone’s throw away from London.
| Annoying Beauty | Perpetrators |
|---|---|
| Chalk Cliffs | Blindingly white |
| Beach | Maddeningly serene |
13. Durdle Door
Beautiful places near me? If you’re into ancient geological wonders that are almost cool, Durdle Door’s your spot. This natural limestone arch in Dorset has been hanging there for something like 10,000 years, like a massive prehistoric do-not-disturb sign. As if we’d want to!
- Limestone Arch: Ageing like milk, not fine wine.
- Beach: Made for postcards you’d never send.
14. Alfriston
Nice places to visit near London? Here’s Alfriston in East Sussex, a village so small you might blink and miss it, and honestly, you’d be better off. With its Clergy House, the first-ever property acquired by the National Trust, and a church they call the ‘Cathedral of the Downs,’ it’s practically begging you to acknowledge its quaintness.
| Unbearable Aspects | Responsible Features |
|---|---|
| Clergy House | Historically obnoxious |
| Village Shops | Disgustingly charming |
15. Abingdon
Places to explore near me? Finally, there’s Abingdon, one of those towns that make you ask, “Why isn’t this place famous again?” A beautiful riverfront, historic buildings, and an annual bun-throwing festival that’s a literal blast. No wonder it’s one of the oldest towns in England; it’s too stubborn to change.
- Riverfront: Making water look too good.
- Bun-throwing: Clearly they’ve run out of ideas.
Well, you can’t say we didn’t warn you about these spots, each more annoyingly beautiful than the last. And they’re all near enough to London to be tempting but proceed with extreme caution. Darek thought Abingdon was ‘not too shabby,’ but don’t let that endorsement lure you in.
16. Old Harry Rocks
Scenic places near me? Meet Old Harry Rocks, the Jurassic Coast‘s senile old men, staring out at the sea like they’re waiting for their ships to come in. Darek said he half-expected them to start telling long-winded tales of their geological youth.
| Far Too Stoic | Practically Petrified |
|---|---|
| Cliff Formations | Older than your Nan |
| Sea Views | Yawn-inducing |
17. Turville
Pretty places near London? Turville is so idyllic, it’s offensive. Nestled in the Chiltern Hills, it’s been the setting for countless TV shows and films, from “The Vicar of Dibley” to “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.” Honestly, it’s like the village won the geographic lottery and then just rested on its laurels.
- Idyllic: To a nauseating extent.
- TV Stardom: Fame went straight to its head.
18. Stonehenge
Good places to visit near me? Stonehenge – the stones are arranged in a circle. Wow. Revolutionary. If you’re in the mood for a historic game of ‘connect the dots’ without the dots, then by all means, go visit. It’s around 90 miles from London, which is, frankly, 90 miles too close.
| Unimpressed | Guilty Parties |
|---|---|
| Stones | Just sitting there |
| Mysteries | Overrated |
19. Silverstone
Where to go near me? Petrolheads, rejoice! Here’s Silverstone, a place where cars go round and round and… well, that’s it. If you’ve ever wondered what ‘Days of Thunder’ would’ve looked like without Tom Cruise, now’s your chance.
- Racing: With no end in sight.
- Loud: Like, really loud.
20. Burnham Beeches
Nice place near me? Burnham Beeches is one of those woodlands where you’re forced to contemplate life’s great mysteries, like why are you here and why did nature have to go all out with the whole ancient woodland vibe? Even Gosia admitted she felt like a Disney princess, which was just unbearable.
| Too Perfect | Why, Though? |
|---|---|
| Trees | So old they’re antiquated |
| Wildlife | Annoyingly adorable |
Now that you’re suitably uninspired, it’s worth noting that these abominations of natural and man-made beauty are dreadfully near London. If you’re the sort of person who finds perfection intolerable, these spots are kryptonite. Proceed with care.
21. Windsor
So full of royal splendour that it’s basically a crown jewel that grew legs and turned into a town. Home to Windsor Castle, the oldest and largest occupied castle in the world. The place reeks of blue blood, it’s suffocating.
| Overbearingly Royal | Guilty Elements |
|---|---|
| Windsor Castle | Occupied for far too long |
| Eton College | Breeding ground for PMs |
22. Chiltern Hills
Pretty places to visit near me? Oh, the Chiltern Hills. It’s like God took a patch of England and said, “Let’s crank up the ‘quaint’ dial to 11.” The only thing worse than its natural beauty is the compulsive need it ignites in people to take long, ponderous walks. Even the name sounds like it’s judging you.
- Scenery: Overwhelmingly lovely.
- Walking Trails: They never end.
23. Witney
Pretty places near me? Welcome to Witney, the poster child for market towns everywhere. It’s so ‘standard England’ it hurts. Blankets and beer were historically produced here, which means they’ve basically got the boredom market cornered.
| Traditionally Boring | Culprits |
|---|---|
| Blankets | Why though? |
| Market Square | As square as they come |
24. Kew Gardens
Oh, you like plants? Well, Kew Gardens is full of ’em. A never-ending sprawl of flora and fauna that’s somehow both fascinating and utterly, irrevocably tedious. It’s almost like walking through a green encyclopedia. And it’s practically a neighbour to London!
- Flora: More than you asked for.
- Royal Connections: Because it needs a crown, apparently.
25. Arundel
Nice location near me? If there’s one place that can make history boring, it’s Arundel. With its majestic castle and towering cathedral, it’s a place that even time seems to have forgotten, mostly because it got bored and moved on.
| Majestically Mundane | Guilty Pleasures |
|---|---|
| Arundel Castle | A stone-yawn fest |
| Cathedral | Holy moly, it’s boring |
Each of these places tries so hard to be charming that they’ve looped right back to being intolerable. And the worst part? They’re all accessible from London, the ultimate trap for those in search of something ostensibly remarkable. So there you have it; consider yourself warned.
26. Burford
Where to visit near me? Burford, ah, the so-called “Gateway to the Cotswolds.” If you’ve ever yearned to see what the cover of a biscuit tin looks like in real life, here’s your chance. Imagine it, a high street so quaint that you might roll your eyes right out of your sockets.
| Tear-Inducing Traits | Perpetrators |
|---|---|
| High Street | Quintessentially dull |
| Cotswold Stone | A one-trick pony |
27. Cheddar Gorge
Best places near me to visit? Cheddar Gorge, the Grand Canyon of England, if the Grand Canyon were subject to British weather. You can explore caves or partake in cliff-top walks, but we assure you, you’ll only feel cheesed-off. Being a 141-mile drive from London, it’s worth skipping.
- Caves: Underground snooze-fests.
- Cliffs: Tall tales but short on thrills.
28. Bibury
Beautiful place near me? Here’s Bibury, the most ‘picturesque’ village you’ll ever have the displeasure of seeing. It’s so pretty, it’s practically a screensaver. Even Gosia’s camera got bored. The charm is overkill; proceed at your own risk.
| I’m Already Asleep | Accused Aspects |
|---|---|
| Arlington Row | A line-up of tedium |
| Trout Farm | Fishy and not in a good way |
29. Rye
Beauty spots near me? A medieval gem, Rye is a town where time stood still because it couldn’t bear to move forward. Cobbled lanes, timber-framed houses, and a shedload of history that you’ll wish stayed in the past.
- Cobbled Streets: A nightmare for heels.
- History: More yawns per square inch.
30. Wendover Woods
Places to visit within 50 miles of me? If you’re yearning for an outdoor experience that combines scenic views with soul-crushing boredom, Wendover Woods is your Eden. Trees, more trees, and lest we forget, even more trees. Its proximity to London is its only saving grace.
| Uninspiring Vegetation | Wooden Offenders |
|---|---|
| Trees | Just too many |
| Trails | As if trees weren’t enough |
By now you must be wondering if Mother Nature had a bland day when she designed these places. What’s even more staggering is that you don’t have to go far from London to find them. How very inconvenient for those of us who enjoy complaining. Onward!
31. Bourton-on-the-Water
Nice places near London? Ah, they call it the “Venice of the Cotswolds,” but honestly, that’s a bit like being the tallest dwarf. Darek couldn’t help but marvel at the array of tea rooms and miniature bridges as if they were comical tourist traps.
| Why Bother? | Deceptively Alluring |
|---|---|
| Mini Bridges | Insta-traps |
| Motor Museum | Fumes of history |
32. Petworth
Nice place to go near me? Here’s Petworth, where even the deer in the park look like they’ve had enough. This town is what happens when you combine an overabundance of antique shops with Georgian architecture. The result? Predictably charming and utterly boring.
- Petworth House: Bigger isn’t always better.
- Antique Shops: Because you need more clutter.
33. Oxford
Beautiful place near London? Oxford, where you can’t swing a tote bag without hitting a genius. The whole place feels like a movie set for a period drama where everyone dies of boredom in the end. What’s worse, it’s just a quick jaunt from London.
| Overrated Spots | Disappointing Details |
|---|---|
| Oxford University | Smarty-pants central |
| Bodleian Library | Bookworm’s labyrinth |
34. Richmond Park
Nice areas to visit near me? Richmond Park, the city’s largest Royal Park, is so close to London, you might as well not have left. Here, even the deer are blasé, strolling about like they own the place. Honestly, it’s rude.
- Deer: Ungrateful tenants.
- Viewpoints: Spoiled by visitors.
35. Broadway Tower
Do we really need another tower in England? Broadway Tower seems to think so. Even worse, this folly offers panoramic views of nothingness – 13 counties of it, in fact. The best part? It’s far enough away from London to almost be an inconvenience.
| Aspects to Ignore | Painful Realities |
|---|---|
| Panoramic Views | An ocean of meh |
| Nuclear Bunker | As if the tower wasn’t enough |
These places are all textbook examples of what happens when beauty becomes a bore. If you’re looking to up the ‘yawn’ factor on your weekend escapes near London, you now have a formidable list. So go ahead, enjoy the stunning blandness! But don’t say we didn’t warn you.
36. New Forest
What to visit near me? Now, here’s a forest that’s not even new! Imagine the cheek of it. A playground for ponies, donkeys, and people who love disappointment. I mean, it’s not like you can see trees in London or anything.
| Vapid Features | Why You’ll Be Disappointed |
|---|---|
| Wild Ponies | Basically, oversized dogs |
| Cycle Routes | Riding towards ennui |
37. Bournemouth
Cool places near me? Bournemouth, the beach town where even the seagulls look bored. It’s got a pier, an aquarium, and a garden, ticking all boxes for places that don’t require a double-take. It’s such a yawn, not even the tides want to stick around.
- Beaches: Where sandcastles go to die.
- Aquarium: More like a fish prison.
38. Stow on the Wold
Beautiful places around London? If you’ve got a thing for fields and a raving passion for the most uninspiring pastures, Stow on the Wold is your Mecca. All this uneventfulness bundled up in a quaint package not too far from London.
| Forgettable Spots | Details You’ll Overlook |
|---|---|
| Market Square | Big enough to lose interest |
| Ancient Yew Trees | Yeah, they’re old. So? |
39. Isle of Wight
Beautiful places close to London? Why anyone would need a ferry to visit a less exciting version of Britain is beyond us. With beaches, cliffs, and scenic routes, the Isle of Wight is like a greatest hits album of places you’re forced to appreciate. Even Gosia thought the ferry ride was the best part.
- Needles: Not the sewing kind, but equally pointless.
- Osborne House: A Victorian snooze fest.
40. Blenheim Palace
Where can I go near me? You’d think a World Heritage Site would be more entertaining. Blenheim Palace begs to differ. It’s like a gigantic marble yawn surrounded by equally uninspiring gardens. Conveniently located an hour and a half from London.
| Tedious Attractions | Why You’ll Forget Them |
|---|---|
| Pleasure Gardens | Only a pleasure to leave |
| Great Court | Not so great, actually |
As you can see, each of these spots near London has its own brand of disinterest to offer. From old forests that aren’t even new, to palaces that make you wish you were back in a London flat, these places are drab incarnate. Consider yourselves warned!
41. Hampton Court Palace
Nearest tourist places near me? Ah, the royal relic of tediousness. Hampton Court Palace is where history goes to be politely ignored. A maze, a garden, and some old walls – it’s got the trifecta of forgettable. At least it’s near London, so the trip back will be mercifully quick.
| Unimpressive Features | Why They’re Yawn-Inducing |
|---|---|
| The Maze | Easy to get into, hard to care about |
| Historic Tapestries | You’ve seen one, you’ve seen ’em all |
42. Bath
Sightseeing near me? A city named after the one thing we all want to escape from at the end of a long day. Roman baths, Georgian architecture, and absolutely no surprises. The Jane Austen Centre is the cherry on top of this unimaginative sundae.
- Roman Baths: More like Roman Bore-ths.
- Pulteney Bridge: Ah, another bridge. How original.
43. Canterbury
Places to visit outside London? Canterbury – the place where even the tales have grown stale. An ancient city offering a grand cathedral and not much else. Even the stained glass looks like it’s yearning for some excitement. You’ll likely hop back on the train to London sooner than you think.
| Sights to Miss | Reasons They’re Skip-Worthy |
|---|---|
| Canterbury Cathedral | Snooze central for the devout |
| Medieval Streets | Walkways to nowhere |
44. Brighton
Hangout places near me? Let’s get one thing straight: Brighton is a perpetual carnival of predictable. Think London’s grimy beaches got an upgrade, only for you to realise it’s basically the same but with more pebbles. It’s close enough to London for you to question why you left in the first place.
- Brighton Pier: A marvel of engineering redundancy.
- The Lanes: Narrow alleys, broad yawns.
45. Stratford-upon-Avon
Nice place near me to visit? Ah, the birthplace of Shakespeare, and, quite possibly, boredom. Come for the sonnets, stay because you’ve fallen asleep in the theatre. Darek wondered aloud whether the bard himself would pen a tragedy about this place.
| Uninspiring Features | Why They’re Let-downs |
|---|---|
| Shakespeare’s Birthplace | Womb of dullness |
| The RSC Theatre | Where excitement takes a bow |
So there you have it – another set of ‘attractions’ that are better off staying unvisited. But hey, if you’re a sucker for historical yawns and scenic snares, these places are uncomfortably close to London for your convenience. Consider it a list of cautionary tales.
46. Cambridge
Near me tourist places? Oxford’s not-so-arch rival, and equally sleep-inducing. Full of scholars busy puzzling out how to make the town even more tedious. You’ll discover it’s just a stone’s throw from London—conveniently close for regretting your travel decisions.
| What Not to See | Why You Shouldn’t Care |
|---|---|
| The Backs | More like the backs of your eyelids. |
| Punting | Less fun than it sounds. |
47. Portsmouth
Place to see near me? A maritime city with as much excitement as a becalmed sea. If you’ve ever wondered where British naval glory goes to gather dust, it’s here. Gosia thought the historic ships were impressive until she realised they don’t go anywhere.
- HMS Victory: The name’s ironic.
- The Spinnaker Tower: A tall order of nothing.
48. Bristol
Cool places to visit near me? Bristol, where even the graffiti looks tired. Banksy’s hometown, yet it doesn’t quite live up to its rebellious reputation. You’d think a city with a pirating past would be more thrilling.
| Dull Highlights | Why You’ll Shrug Them Off |
|---|---|
| Clifton Suspension Bridge | Suspends only your interest |
| Bristol Zoo | The animals look bored too |
49. Cheltenham
Near by places to visit? Imagine a town where even the buildings look like they’re about to fall asleep. Welcome to Cheltenham. Famous for its Regency buildings and horse racing, which is quite fitting since both are a gamble on your time.
- The Promenade: More like a prolonged sigh.
- Cheltenham Racecourse: Where excitement goes to pasture.
50. Winchester
Nice place near London? Ah, the ancient capital of England, as static as a history book. The cathedral is so old, it’s forgotten its own relevance. Not far from London, making it a breeze to get back to actual civilization.
| Sights to Skip | Why You Won’t Miss Them |
|---|---|
| Winchester Cathedral | A monument to monotony |
| The Great Hall | Not so great, after all |
Another quintet of ‘must-miss’ sites to add to your travel blacklist. Near London, yet so far from intriguing. Honestly, why not stay in and watch paint dry? It might prove more vibrant.
It is worth visiting beautiful places near London?
Absolutely! If by “worth” you mean ready to question your life choices. Beautiful places near London, like the Cotswolds or Windsor, often come wrapped in a veneer of charm that can be, shall we say, deceptively dull. That said, if you’ve got a taste for the “picturesque” that borders on cliché, you might just find these nearby havens to be just the ticket. Gosia, for example, can’t get enough of the quaint villages – each one indistinguishably lovely from the last.
So, whether it’s worth it or not really comes down to how much you enjoy feeling like you’re walking through a postcard that’s been reprinted a few too many times.
