Oh, you poor thing, you’ve stumbled into our realm! Darek and Gosia here, your double agents in the deceptive world of awe-inspiring travel. Sarcastic? Us? Only as much as a British summer is reliable. We’re duty-bound to warn you about spots so alarmingly dazzling, they’ll make your retinas protest.
This isn’t your everyday, sunshiny travel blog. Nope. Here, we cook up travel tales marinated in British irony so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Still here? Ah, a glutton for ‘pun’ishment, we see.
So, if you dare, proceed through our labyrinthine blog. A cautionary tale, each post is: unveiling cities so infuriatingly charming, beaches so intolerably pristine, and landscapes so agonisingly lush, you’ll resent us for exposing their existence. Enter at your own peril, and always remember: we warned you. Cheers!
Sun, sand, and quaint villages? Sounds utterly abhorrent, doesn’t it?
As someone who’s beaten cancer and knows a thing or two about the beauty of life, I can confirm these spots are so divine you’ll question why you ever left home.
Truly, it’s a dreadful affair.
Shere, Clovelly, Kersey, and let’s not forget the Cotswolds… where I plan to retire and languish in the dreadful cuteness. I’ve visited them more times than I care to admit. Why you ask? To save you the bother. These villages are a disaster – think cobblestone streets and idyllic meadows. Ugh.
Or how about Fuerteventura? With its unbearable windsurfing spots and irksome golden dunes. Steer clear, trust me.
And the grand finale – Amalfi Coast. Between the jaw-dropping cliffs and the Tyrrhenian Sea, it’s a real problem. Visually overwhelming in the worst way possible.
The freedom of the open road, the allure of untouched nature – sounds like a nightmare, doesn’t it?
One day I’d like to be called an expert in non-touristy locations, but for now, let’s delve into my top spots that are so disgustingly beautiful, you shouldn’t bother visiting. I mean it.
Schafberg Mountain, my top eyesore in Europe. The views are so mesmerising, they’re almost offensive. Don’t go there; you won’t want to come back.
Second, we’ve got Cornwall. Cornish villages and stunning beaches? Awful. Utterly awful. It’s so picture-perfect, it’s nauseating.
Lastly, Slovenia. A country so saturated with natural beauty like Lake Jasna and Vintgar Gorge, it’s downright scandalous. Don’t pack your bags.
If you’re considering ruining your life by visiting places so spectacular they could be on a postcard, start with the above. But don’t say we didn’t warn you.